if i told you what rhis sounded ljke i dont think youd believe me so just listen
(via bonk-bonk-tom)
aflo:
wakes up on time, showers, gets dressed, eats breakfast, and drinks coffee, then calmly lays back down in bed and goes back to sleep
(via slobble-ya-diddly)
me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions
[5 years later]
highly throwable imp: hoohoohee
me: hmm
(via damnpharos)
scam texts aren’t even trying any more. i have to pay my taxes? at latina fiesta dot co???
(via slobble-ya-diddly)
Achievement Unlocked:
Not Quite What I’d Hoped
Get your meat sucked
(via penismage)
(via bob-belcher)